My secret formula did turn out to be a miraculous solution to my obesity.
I love the way I look now. Downright slim and skinny.
I could be a model I thought.

However, I have to admit, i always feel weak. Lack of energy. Everything i does seems enervating, even the simplest task of lifting my bag up. My favourite hobby is but sleeping, and wandering to a dreamland far far away.

Recently, a disaster broke out and messed up my privacy.
Yesterday, she caught me.
My mother, my freak mom, caught me hugging the toilet bowl and feeding it with my vomit.
That day, I came home as usual, ate lunch with my enormous appetite and strolled into the toilet as usual. And as usual, I was the only one at home. Plunged my finger deep down into my throat, felt the rush of food upwards against gravity, and off the chyme poured into the toilet bowl.
And an arm wrenched me up from behind.
I turned around and found myself facing the woman I hate.
The woman that rarely spared time for me.
Facing the woman that should have not been here this moment.
Wrong place wrong time. Coincidence. Whatever.

I winced away and dig my sight down into the cold hard ground.
The heartless squares segregated by endless lines of cracks - the tiles;
the awkward silence; the sparse air particles;
that's all between us, me and mother,
theoretically.

"April. What the hell do you think you're doing? Oh my god. For goodness sake, why, out of all people, must my daughter has bulimia? Come. I'm bringing you to the doctors' ! "
At that moment, I had the urge to smash the basin on her body and squash the soap into her distorted mouth.
"no I dont want to go with you. I don't have bulimia!" I screamed back at her.

"Then explain to me how you've become so skinny in a few months? DO you know how fragile you look? Tell me why you're throwing up! "

"it's just none of your business."

She slapped me. Mercilessly. "Wretch! Do you know how worried I am for you? I've been wondering what happened to you! For your whole life, all of your business is my business, You understand April?"

I covered the patch of burning skin and fought back my tears. I ran down the stars and burst out of the gate.